Can You Really Change a Bad Attitude?

Will Your Team Member's Attitude Ever Shift?

Attitude isn't random. It's an expression of how we see the world. When we see threats, we get defensive. When we see encouragement, we lean in and take risks. That lens shapes how we show up at work every day.

For leaders, this matters because sometimes we inherit a team member whose attitude feels like the problem. Whether you're managing a medical practice where one nurse constantly complains about new protocols, running a professional services firm where someone undermines team meetings with sarcasm, or operating any business where negativity spreads through the workplace, the question remains the same: can that lens change, or is it set in stone?

Over the years, I've hired scores of people. Some became standouts. Others flamed out. One lesson stuck with me: hire for attitude, not skill. Skills can be taught. Attitude tends to stay put.

But what if you inherit someone you didn't hire? Maybe their skills are sharp, but their outlook drags the team down. Do you write them off, or can they shift? That's the challenge I've wrestled with more than any other in 30 years of leadership.

Attitude Is More Than a Mood

Psychologists define attitude as a mix of emotions, beliefs, and values shaped by experiences and culture. While attitudes are often stable, they are not fixed. Learning, persuasion, and even cognitive dissonance when behavior and beliefs collide can nudge them in new directions.

Research in social psychology backs this up. In one fascinating workplace study, six weeks of short participatory meetings, where employees spoke and supervisors listened, reduced authoritarian attitudes in lasting ways. That shows two things: even stable attitudes can shift, and the right social context matters enormously.

Other research confirms this pattern. Mental health training programs showed improved attitudes months later, though changes varied by individual. Reviews confirm that attitude change can lead to behavior change, but habits and environment often interfere with lasting transformation. Long-term studies reveal that values and attitudes can influence each other over time, creating opportunities for gradual but meaningful shifts.

The pattern is clear: attitudes can change, but it usually takes consistent reinforcement and intentional effort over time.

What Experience and Experts Tell Us

My experience aligns with what thought leaders have observed about human potential. Oprah Winfrey noted that "the greatest discovery of all time is that a person can change their future by merely changing their attitude." Media executive Barry Diller observed that "cynicism kills instinct while naivety is mandatory for keeping your instincts alive." Psychologist Carol Dweck reminds us that while personality is relatively stable, growth is possible with awareness and sustained effort.

These perspectives don't make attitude change sound easy, but they reinforce the possibility and highlight the responsibility leaders carry in shaping the environment where change can occur.

A Real Transformation Story

Consider what happened at a busy accounting firm where I consulted. They had inherited a senior bookkeeper, Patricia, through a company acquisition. She was technically excellent but had developed a deeply cynical attitude toward management over years of broken promises at her previous company.

Patricia would roll her eyes during team meetings, make sarcastic comments about new initiatives, and generally poison the atmosphere with her negativity. The managing partner was ready to let her go despite her valuable skills and client relationships.

Instead, we tried a different approach. Rather than focusing on her attitude, we examined what was driving it. Through careful conversation, we discovered that Patricia's cynicism stemmed from feeling unheard and undervalued. Her previous managers had made changes without explanation or input from experienced staff.

We implemented regular one-on-one meetings where Patricia could voice concerns and suggestions. We involved her in planning new processes since she understood the practical challenges better than anyone. We acknowledged her expertise publicly and gave her decision-making authority in her areas of strength.

The change wasn't immediate, but it was real. Within three months, Patricia's eye-rolling stopped. Within six months, she was actively contributing ideas in team meetings. A year later, she had become one of the firm's most positive influences, mentoring new hires and championing improvements.

The key was addressing the root cause of her attitude rather than just the symptoms.

A Structured Approach for Leaders

If you're leading a team and you suspect a member's attitude is holding things back, here's a systematic way to evaluate whether improvement is realistic or if it's time to make a change.

Start by documenting specific behaviors rather than labeling feelings. Keep notes on observable actions like sarcasm in meetings, refusal to follow processes, or negative comments in front of clients. Avoid terms like "bad attitude" and focus on what you can actually see and hear.

Next, look for patterns and triggers in their behavior. Is the negativity constant, situational, or stress-driven? Understanding whether it's chronic, environmental, or intermittent helps you separate deep-seated personality issues from factors you might be able to influence.

Then hold a direct but neutral conversation using facts to open the discussion. You might say something like: "I've noticed that when policies change, you voice frustration in front of the team. Can you tell me what's behind that?" Listen carefully without defending or explaining. Their response often reveals whether the issue stems from stress, misunderstanding, feeling unheard, or genuine resistance to authority.

After understanding their perspective, set a short-term test by agreeing on one small, measurable change for the next two to three weeks. This might be contributing one constructive idea in meetings, avoiding negative remarks in front of clients, or asking questions privately before expressing concerns publicly. Be specific about expectations and timelines so everyone understands what success looks like.

Finally, decide based on results rather than hope. After the test period, ask yourself: did the behavior improve meaningfully? Was there genuine effort? Did the team notice positive changes? If yes, continue reinforcing the progress and gradually expand expectations. If not, consider whether reassignment or an exit conversation is necessary. The decision should be grounded in evidence and impact on the team, not wishful thinking about future potential.

When to Adjust Your Approach

Sometimes the issue requires you to shift your view rather than expecting them to change. This is appropriate when they're competent and making genuine effort to improve, when the problem stems from miscommunication or unclear expectations, or when they're new to your organization and still adapting to cultural differences.

Other situations call for clear expectations that they need to change their approach. This includes when negative patterns persist despite support and clear communication, when their behavior consistently hurts team progress or morale, or when their outlook is actively dragging down other team members who were previously positive.

Sometimes, despite everyone's best efforts, it's time to move on. This becomes necessary when no improvement occurs after sustained effort and time, when their behavior actively undermines team goals or company culture, or when they resist accountability and refuse honest feedback about their impact.

The Leadership Choice

Hiring for attitude remains the smart rule because skills are typically easier to train than personality traits. But when you inherit someone with strong technical skills and a challenging outlook, remember that attitude is not destiny. It's a lens shaped by how people see the world, and lenses can change under the right conditions.

As leaders, we need to test for change honestly, create conditions that support growth, and decide with clarity based on evidence rather than emotion. Sometimes attitudes shift dramatically when people feel heard, valued, and included in solutions. Sometimes they don't, despite everyone's best efforts.

What matters is that you lead with empathy while measuring actual results, give people genuine opportunities to grow while protecting your team's culture, and act in the best interest of everyone involved rather than avoiding difficult decisions.

The connection, clarity, and culture framework applies here too: build genuine connection to understand what's driving their attitude, provide clarity about expectations and consequences, and maintain a culture where positive attitudes can flourish while negative ones are addressed systematically.

Your inherited team member's attitude can shift, but only if they're willing to do the work and you're willing to create the right environment for change. The key is knowing when you've given it an honest try and when it's time to move forward without them.

Suggested Reading

📘 Crucial Conversations by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler – Provides proven techniques for having high-stakes discussions when attitudes and emotions are involved. Essential for leaders who need to address difficult behavior constructively.

📘 The Speed of Trust by Stephen M.R. Covey – Explores how trust accelerates performance and change in organizations. Particularly valuable for understanding how to rebuild relationships with team members whose attitudes have created friction.

📘 Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol Dweck – Demonstrates the difference between fixed and growth mindsets, and how leaders can foster environments where people believe change is possible. Critical for creating conditions where attitude shifts can actually occur.